What to say to a coach at the end of the season

Most players know their coach mattered. Saying it is the hard part, especially at presentation night, or with a phone pointed at you in the car park.

This is a simple way to find the words. It works for a card, a short speech or a video message, and for an under-7 as well as a parent or the team captain.

Why the words matter

In 2018, psychologists Amit Kumar and Nicholas Epley asked people to write thank-you letters, then asked the people who received them how they felt. The writers consistently underestimated how happy the recipients would be, and overestimated how awkward they would feel.

Coaches hear "thanks, coach" at the car every week. A real message, with one specific thing in it, is rarer than you might think. It will probably mean more than you expect.

A simple shape: a moment, a change, a wish

1. A moment. One thing the coach did. "When you…" or "I remember the game when…"
2. A change. What it meant. "Now I…" or "Because of you…"
3. A wish. Something for them. "See you next season" or "Enjoy the break."

Specific beats grand. "Thanks for letting me try in goals that one time" says more than "You are the best coach ever."

Lines for young players (under 6s to under 9s)

Young players do best with one short idea. Ask a question and let them answer.

• "Thank you for teaching me to kick."
• "My favourite was when we played in the rain."
• "Thanks for the high fives."
• "I like it when you say 'great effort'. Thank you, coach."
• "Thank you for helping me when I fell over."

Good questions to ask them: What was your best day at training? What did the coach teach you? What do you want to say to them?

Lines for older juniors (under 10s to under 14s)

• "Thanks for never yelling when I dropped the ball. I'm not scared to try now."
• "You made me play defence and I hated it. Now it's my favourite. Thanks."
• "Thank you for picking me when I wasn't the fastest."
• "Thanks for the extra five minutes after training every week."
• "I'll miss your terrible jokes. See you next season."

Lines for teenagers and senior players

Teenagers often say less, and it means just as much.

• "Thanks for believing in me before I did."
• "You taught us more than the game. Thank you."
• "Thanks for turning up every week, even when we didn't."
• "Best season I've had. That was you."

Lines from parents

Parents see the drive home, the mood on Sunday, the child who asks to go to training.

• "Thank you for making [child] feel part of the team from the first week."
• "[Child] came off the field smiling every Saturday. That was you."
• "Thank you for all the early starts and cold nights. We know they were your weekends too."
• "This season gave [child] confidence we had not seen before. Thank you."
• "Thank you for being so patient, with the kids and with us."

From the captain or the whole team

If one player speaks for the team at presentation night, keep it short and name the people around the coach too.

• "On behalf of the team, thank you, [coach], for every training, every game and every pep talk."
• "Thank you for making us a team, not just a group of players."
• "And thank you to [assistant coach] and [team manager], who were there every week as well."

After a hard season

Not every season has a trophy. The thank-you may matter even more.

• "Thanks for making Saturdays fun, even when we lost."
• "We didn't win much, but we never stopped trying. That came from you."
• "Thank you for being proud of us anyway."

For a coach who is stepping down

• "Thank you for all the seasons, and all the kids you coached. You made a difference to every one of us."
• "The club won't be the same without you on the sideline. Enjoy your Saturdays."

For the helpers

• "Thank you for running the team every week. Nothing happened without you." (team manager)
• "Thanks for keeping score in the rain." (scorer)
• "Thanks for the oranges at half-time." (the parent on oranges)

Helping a player record a video message

If the team is making a video together, the recording is usually done at home or after training, on a parent's phone. A few things help:

• Find a quiet spot. Wind and sideline noise drown out voices. The car, out of the wind, works well.
• Let them talk. Ask a question, then stay quiet. Their words are the gift, even when they wander.
• A minute is plenty. Thirty seconds is fine.
• Retakes are allowed. If they freeze, laugh and try again.
• Face the light. Stand with the sun or a window in front of them, not behind.
• Keep it kind. Avoid jokes about other players or the score.

If you are using Warmcut, each player can pick a question to start from or just speak from the heart. The film is made only from what people actually said; it never writes or changes their words. The coach gift ideas post has more ways the team can say thanks.

If words still will not come

That is all right. A short message said plainly is enough:

It is short, and it is enough.