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Why some people never send their video message

It is almost never about the person you are celebrating. It is the camera, the timing or the words. Here is what helps.

By the Warmcut team · · 4 min read

You sent the link on Sunday. By Wednesday, eleven people have recorded and nine have not, and the nine include her brother and her best friend: the two you were sure about. You check the link to see if it is broken. It is not.

This happens on almost every group video. It is rarely about the person being celebrated. People go quiet for a handful of ordinary reasons, and most of them have an easy fix.

The real reasons, and what helps

1. They do not know what to say. A blank camera is hard. People wait for inspiration that does not come. What helps: send one question with the link. "What is one thing you would want her to know?" is easier than "say something nice". With Warmcut, each person can pick a question to start from or just speak from the heart.

2. They are camera-shy. Some people hate seeing themselves on a screen. What helps: say plainly that a minute is plenty, retakes are fine, and the other people recording never see their clip.

3. They meant to, and forgot. This is the biggest group. The link sank under forty other messages. What helps: one reminder at the right time (see below).

4. They are waiting for the right moment. Better light, a better day, better hair. What helps: tell them good enough is good enough. A window and a quiet room are all they need.

5. They think it has to be long. Some people picture a speech. What helps: "Thirty seconds is perfect" in the first message.

6. They are not sure who will see it. What helps: say who sees the film and when. Every Warmcut link is private, and contributors never see each other's clips.

7. The technology worries them. Often an older relative. What helps: tell them there is no app to install and no account to make. Or call them, and record together on your phone.

8. The deadline was vague. "Sometime next week" means never. What helps: a day and a time. "By Thursday night, 8pm."

9. They think someone else will say it better. What helps: remind them it is not a speech. The film works because everyone says one small thing.

Reminders that work

  • One clear first message. What it is, who it is for, the question, the link, the date. Everything in one place.
  • One reminder, about halfway. Short and warm. People are busy, not unwilling.
  • One last call, two or three days before the deadline. "We wrap up on Thursday" moves more people than any other message.
  • A private nudge for the quiet ones. "Would you like me to send you the questions?" works better than a public list of who has not recorded.

If people left their email when they opened the link, Warmcut can send them one reminder too. Most people come in through your own group chat, though, so your reminder is still the one that counts.

Here is a reminder you can copy:

A gentle reminder about [name]'s video. A minute is plenty, and you can retake as often as you like. Here's the link again: [link]. We wrap up on [day] at [time]. Thank you.

The people who matter most

The brother, the best friend, the parent. Their messages are the ones the person will listen for, and they are often the slowest, because they feel they have to get it right.

  • Ask them first and early, before you send the link to everyone, so they have the most time.
  • Give them a different question. "What do you remember from when you were kids?" is easier than "what does she mean to you?"
  • Tell them it can be short. Close family often think they have to say the most. They do not. One true sentence is enough.
  • Offer to help. A phone call where you ask the question and they answer, recorded on your phone, takes five minutes.

Keeping the surprise

If it is a surprise, say so clearly in the first message, and ask people to keep the link off any chat the person might see. Most surprises are spoiled by an early "Can't wait for Saturday" in the family group.

When someone still does not record

Let it go after two reminders. Some people will not record, and the reasons are usually their own. The film is about everyone who did, not about who is missing.

If a message arrives late, it can usually still go in. With Warmcut you add the late clip with one tap and the film is made again with that person in it.

Before you send the link next time

  • One question to answer, in the first message
  • "A minute is plenty" and "retakes are fine"
  • Who will see it, and when
  • A day and a time for the deadline
  • A reminder planned for halfway, and a last call

Questions

How do I get people to send their video messages?

Give them a clear date, one easy question to answer, and permission to keep it short. Then send one reminder a few days before the deadline and one last call.

How many reminders should I send?

Two at most: one about halfway, and one last call two or three days before the deadline. After that, let it go. Most people who were going to record will have.

What if someone sends their message after the deadline?

Usually it can still go in. With Warmcut you add a late clip with one tap and the film is made again with them in it.

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